Men In Black – The Conspiracy

Coming home from work seems to be a time when I can think slightly creatively. This is a pity, since I’m paid to do that while I’m at work, but the sheer cacophony and chaos of the office I work in kills that stone dead about 20 mins after the morning coffee. Today, for instance, somebody’s PC fan started running in emergency cooling mode. This, combined with the telephones, keyboard tapping, seemingly constant car alarms and the (yes) children’s’ playground outside, made it feel like we were all riding a Boeing 747 to hell. None of us did anything about it of course, and least of all IT. If I were managing a company that supposedly traded on creative thinking, I’d… oh, never mind.

Now I’ve got the griping over with, my theme today is conspiracy cookery. All good conspiracies have to start somewhere then obtain a life of their own. So, let’s get cracking.

It occurs to me that there is something strange surrounding the Hollywood blockbuster “The Men In Black.” As far back as 1947, a phenomenon known as the “men in black” has been reported as collateral evidence around UFO sightings, and in particular, landings and abductions. One of the most interesting accounts of these men is given in 1976 by Dr Herbert Hopkins, an American psychiatrist. Hokpins had no previous link with this field, except that he had been treating a youth who claimed to have been abducted by aliens.

I was alone in the house. The telephone rang and the voice on the other end identified itself
as a member of a New Jersey UFO research organization. I agreed that he could talk with me about
the abduction case. He said that he would be right over. I walked from the telephone in the hallway
to turn on a light and the man was already coming up the stairs. If he was as close as across the
street, or even next door, he couldn’t have possibly gotten here so soon. His attire struck me as
a little odd. He wore a neatly tailored black suit, black shoes, black socks, and a black tie.
He also wore a black Derby. I thought, ‘God, this man looks like an undertaker.’ We sat down and
I said to myself, ‘This character is as bald as an egg.’ He didn’t have any eyebrows or eyelashes
and his skin was a dead white colour. His nose was very small and it came down to just above the
upper lip. His lips were ruby red. He had the appearance of a clothing store dummy. His sump
looked as if it had never been worn before. … I got a little uneasy when he ordered me to destroy
the tapes and any other correspondence and anything to do with UFOs. He said that if I didn’t
do so I would suffer the same fate as Barney Hill” [a renowned ‘contactee’ who had died under
mysterious circumstances].

The Sony Pictures film is a trashy comedy that became very popular. But what better way to bury the truth about the Men than by getting Hollywood to make a comedy about them? Any subsequent reference to the real men in black will now only be met with laughter, and even serious examination will be tainted by the suspicion that the reporter is merely “projecting” ideas in the film. Has this particularly Orwellian technique been successfully applied?